Thursday, May 23, 2013

Ice Cream Galaxy

Yo, this one took a LOOOOONG time to finish. It was mad delicate and I was really getting too complex with it in the first few drafts. The shit is nailed now, though! Enjoy:

Ice Cream Galaxy

Hi, my name is Ace ("Hi, Ace!"), and I don't like rap. I used to LOVE rap. I produce hip-hop songs professionally, so that pretty much sucks. When I turn on Power 106, I start to get woozy, blood starts leaking out of my left eye, and I've found that I can't taste things for like an hour afterward; I think it's an allergy. I don't even like Phone Tap, and the commercials on 106 are, to put it mildly, in poor taste ("Ay, homie, did you get caught up in a case and now you need bail? Don't stress, we got you, mayne!"). I like to think of the Los Angeles radio situation as a microcosm of hip-hop in general: Power 106 is loud and clear with their candy rap confections, but KDAY starts to buzz and pop if my fillings are in too much of an east-west orientation. Guess where the money is?

I live to see hip-hop return to its creative roots. I don't mean boom-bap necessarily; I just mean to the spirit of individuality and innovation that seems to have been lost. I do what I can to see good rap songs get done; I react extremely violently to the bullshit. If you like to rap like a fucking toddler over house beats, I not only want you to look elsewhere but furthermore would like you to microwave your balls for about 15 seconds on high so that you can't pass your affinity for skinny jeans and R&B hooks to the next generation. That shit is mad effeminate; why can't you see that? Nice pants, Miley.

I am disgusted by the co-opting of hip-hop. When I see an infomercial for something like the "Hip Hop Abs" workout (and that's for real, by the way) or a comedian rapping ironically in a movie, it makes me wanna booby-trap my apartment, if you know what I mean. Just kidding! HAHAHA. I imagine that the surviving members of The Clash feel similarly when they hear "punk" on the radio.

One more thing: I don't work for free. I won't get into the details as I feel that they are self-evident to anyone who has ever had a fucking job. If you have something going on that looks like it might amount to something (and I don't mean your mixtape), I'm down to help, but it will have to be beneficial to me in some way. This is a hobby for some, it's my way of life.Holla!